life sucks

this is probably the first time in my twenty yrs that im feeling so troubled and unsettled.

everything seems to happen simultaneously and im suffocating~~~

exams are coming real soon and im so unprepared!
there are endless stuffs and materials to study but i still have not even completed my lecture notes which are the minimal.
let’s see if i even manage to score 2 digits for my prelims paper when i get them back next week.
UOL revision workshop started last weekend and the whole school is filled with this exams atmosphere where you see people studying everywhere.
seriously, i will be satisfied if i can just clear all my modules.
im not greedy, so pls grant my wish.

im still pondering whether i should celebrate my 21st anot! there all so many concerns that made me not wanting to celeb it anymore. but it’s like a once in a lifetime thingy uh?!
firstly, i will have to celebrate it some where in between my exams period.
secondly, i wanna back out after i think about the no. of things to prepare for the party – invitations, food, place and etc… altho. most of the stuffs won’t be done by me, but i dont feel good having my family to go thrgh the trouble for me.
thirdly, there are some uncertainties………………………. which even me myself is unsure of.
anyway, if i hv decided to celeb it, i will be celebrating it like how my cousins celebrated theirs.
dun expect anything fanciful or so eva, its just the usuals.
i wanted to come up with something NEW, but NEW ideas are often costly.

oh btw, im planning to go for a photoshoot somewhere this year, any babes interested?
i think it is worth keeping your youth before you realise that you are getting too old for everthing. =//

bad news…… grandma is still hospitalized and her condition is unstable still.
we nv expect the condition to be so critical and it all happened within a few weeks. =(
i felt bad that im not visiting her frequently becos of revision classes.
she seems to be in pain, and i know that it will prob be tough even if she awakes.
But i hope that she will be able to pull through the current state.

i have a long list of things to do which i cnt wait to execute after my exams.

look out for my next post on 21st May (last day of exams) !!!